Fellowship Rediscovered by John Loftness

Today we continue to delve into dicovering the value of Home Groups with some amazing help from Sovereign Grace Ministries and their publication, Why Small Groups. This fantastic material is available to download for free from Sovereign Grace Ministries. http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=B3150-00-60 - This is the next installment entitled, Fellowship Rediscovered. All of the following is copyrighted to Sovereign Grace and I am grateful for their kindness in allowing access to all of their materials for free! Make sure you log on!

John Loftness
Fellowship Rediscovered

In the heart of Charleston, South Carolina stands an old church building. Bright stained glass offsets the solemnity of heavy red brick. Inside, pictures of Jesus and other biblical figures etched in glass filter the light of the worship place. A hand carved altar piece reaches to the vaulted ceiling. Someone gave great attention to detail in designing and building this house of worship. Above the entrance, inlaid in the brick, is a cross—the symbol and heart of Christendom for 2,000 years.

But times have changed, and the need for a house of worship has been replaced in Charleston’s tourist district by the need for prime restaurant space. So today the former
Church of the Redeemer has been transformed into the Mesa Grill. The church’s name, carved in a marble placard at the sidewalk entrance, looks as if someone has tried to sand-blast it away. In the glass case that once announced activities and the weekly sermon, there now hangs today’s menu. Where hardwood pews once filled the worship space, upholstered booths sit among potted plants. Rock music pulsates through the atmosphere; Sting has replaced Handel as nachos have replaced communion bread. None of the patrons seem particularly aware of the incongruity of the place.

Rediscovering Biblical Fellowship
As the title of this chapter announces, this is an essay about fellowship, and the Mesa Grill is an apt metaphor for what has happened to the practice of Christian relationship in the church today. We’ve kept the term and turned it into something that doesn’t even vaguely represent what it means to the one who defined it. Fellowship is like that old church building. People have started using the term to describe ways of relating never intended for this precious communion of the saints. And because God created the practice, we’d better make sure we use it in the way he designed it–because God isn’t putting fellowship up for sale. Remember what happened when Jesus found the Temple being used as a place to turn a profit?

What fellowship is not.
In its neglect, Christians have redefined fellowship to mean any warm human interchange— especially when we make connection with someone and discover that we have common interests, experiences, or viewpoints. I enjoy the outdoors. Hiking, canoeing, and fishing are among my favourite leisure activities. When I meet someone who knows the joys of the Rose River Trail in Shenandoah National Park, or has canoed the rapids of the lower Youghegheny River, or thrills at the first yank of the line signalling the strike of a smallmouth bass, our conversation is inevitably animated and friendly. But it is not fellowship. If I spend time with a brother in Christ playing volleyball, talking about shared political views, or following the ups and downs of an NFL franchise, we may have a wonderful time and deepen a friendship. But in none of those things will we have had fellowship.

Let me press the point further. Fellowship is not (at least not necessarily) going to a Bible study with someone, or sharing doctrinal commitments, or attending a Christian men’s rally where emotions run deep and passions are high. Fellowship is not found in a “group therapy” session where participants reveal their darkest thoughts—even if everyone in the group is a Christian and brings a Bible. In fact, two Christians can be married to one another and still not experience fellowship. I have heard Christians complain that their relationships seem superficial and they don’t know why. What they often fail to see is that, while all Christians have relationships, not all relationships include fellowship. In fellowship, God offers us a precious but neglected gift—a type of human relationship created exclusively for his children. If God thinks it’s that important, we had better find out what it is.

What fellowship is.
Fellowship is a uniquely Christian relational experience. No one but those born of the Spirit of God can have fellowship—which makes its neglect all the more tragic. The word “fellowship,” as it is found in the English Bible, is a translation of the Greek word koinonia. Saying the word aloud brings to mind our word “community,” and so it should, for koinonia is its root. But sadly, politicians and sociologists have effectively redefined “community” to mean “special-interest group,” so we need additional words to get at its meaning. Here the Revised Standard Version of the Scriptures can help. It translates koinonia as “fellowship,” but also as “participation,” and “sharing” (in the following verses, these words are italicized for emphasis).

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers (Ac 2:42).

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any incentive of love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy... (Php 2:1)....and I pray that the sharing of your faith
may promote the knowledge of all the good that is ours in Christ (Phm 1:6).

What is fellowship as defined in the New Testament? Just this: participating together in the life and truth made possible by the Holy Spirit through our union with Christ. Fellowship is sharing something in common on the deepest possible level of human relationship—our experience of God himself. Participating together... life and truth...sharing in common...human relationship...experience of God—these phrases capture the essence of the unique Christian experience of fellowship. Opportunities to fall in love, get married, procreate, pursue a career, go bungee jumping, play baseball, or go to school are all open to humanity in general. But only Christians can experience fellowship. For this reason alone, this unique quality of Christian existence should be exceedingly precious to us. We should eagerly explore its meaning so that we can fully mine its treasure. My sincere hope is that this chapter will compel you to seek a deeper experience of fellowship.

Start with God
Fellowship with God is the prerequisite to fellowship with others. This is the explicit message of John in his first biblical letter: We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ....If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin (1Jn 1:3, 6-7).

The flow of John’s argument may not be as straightforward as modern readers prefer, but his logic is clear. John and his fellow teachers (the “we” of the passage) have come to know truth through the life and teaching of Jesus. This has allowed them to have fellowship with God the Father and with the ascended Christ. This fellowship exists not only with God but between and among those who “live by the truth.” Sin (“walking in darkness”) not only pollutes our fellowship with God but hinders our fellowship with one another.” Walking in the light”—obeying God’s word and confessing our sins when we disobey—should result in fellowship. In short, fellowship with others begins with an honest, open, obedient relationship with God rooted in the truth of his Word. How we share that relationship with others—how we wrestle with understanding truth and struggle to apply it to our lives—is the essence of fellowship.

Thus, fellowship has one source and two channels. Throne source is God. The two channels—both to be understood in the light of Scripture—are the work of the Spirit directly in our hearts, and the work of the Spirit through other believers. Some, upon hearing this, might be tempted to get off the bus that takes them to fellowship. Relationships, even between believers, come packaged with problems. To pursue relationships is to open ourselves to hurt, misunderstanding, and inconvenience, for our relationships are inevitably influenced by our sin. You may think fellowship with God is all you need. After all, doesn’t the Bible teach that God and his Word are sufficient for all our needs pertaining to life and godliness?
Yes, it does. But the error comes in limiting the means God uses to help us apply truth to our lives. Only the Spirit can illuminate Scripture to our minds and give us the power to obey it.
Yet the Spirit often chooses to employ other people as a means of communicating his truth to our ears and heart. Who are we to argue with him? He will of course use teachers of the word through sermons, books, and tapes. But he will also use the regular guy in your small group—and there’s the rub. We can ignore teachers, close books, and turn off tapes. When we do pay attention, we can conveniently misapply teachings. But the people closest to us, if they’re doing their job in fellowship, are not likely to let us ignore God’s urgings so easily.
We’re like the Israelites trudging through the wilderness, like the disciples huddled in the upper room after Jesus’ ascension, like the pilgrims on the Mayflower. The negative view is that we’re stuck with one another—confined by a desert, a hostile Jerusalem, or a stormy sea. But “stuck” is not the biblical attitude. Rather, we belong to one another. We are pilgrims on our way to the Promised Land, called to help one another along on the journey. God has chosen fellowship to be a primary channel of life in his body.

The Means of Fellowship
Ever heard the phrase “a means of grace”? In theology, it refers to things we can do—such as pray or meditate on Scripture—to put ourselves in a position to receive something from God. Fellowship is a means of grace, too. It’s a way of getting to a place where God will meet us. So the next question is: what are the means of fellowship? What can we do to posture ourselves to experience fellowship? The list is long.

Worship God together. Worship is a means of experiencing fellowship with God through meditating upon and declaring truth about him, giving thanks to him, and receiving a sense of his presence. As we noted earlier from Scripture, fellowship with God—including worship—opens us to fellowship
with one another.

Pray for one another, especially regarding the things that burden us and how God is at work in our lives. Praying together is about as close as we can get to experiencing someone else’s fellowship with God and knowing the qualities of his relationship with his Lord. Utilize our spiritual gifts to help others grow in God. If fellowship is participating together in the Spirit, what more obvious participation can there be than to serve one another through those grace-gifts empowered by the Spirit?

Carry one another’s burdens. Paul puts it this way: “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ” (Gal 6:1-2). We all have burdens and—as I once heard my pastor, C.J. Mahaney, say—we have a responsibility to communicate those burdens without requiring anyone to receive divine revelation in order to know what they are. But this process does not have to be difficult.

One day I was sitting in a church office as four of us on staff concluded a business meeting. As we got up to leave, I simply said, “I need to let you guys know what is going on in my heart.” That’s all it took to get the process underway. Less than a month earlier we had buried an eight-year-old boy who had died of cancer. Matt had been more than a church member; he was a friend to me and my family. I had been feeling a heaviness—a sadness—since then, and I wasn’t sure its source was pure, or that I was handling it correctly. Though it seems obvious now, I couldn’t tell what was going on in my heart.

My friends listened quietly as I groped to explain myself. But they didn’t just comfort me. They asked probing questions surrounding issues of self-pity, worry, and a prideful sense of responsibility. It took courage to ask such questions of someone struggling with the sadness I faced, but those questions needed asking, and I didn’t know enough at the time to ask them of myself. When my friends were done, I knew someone understood me—and not just in an emotional sense. They had helped me explore my soul. Their counsel? Watch out for certain temptations, but mainly, you’re grieving, John. The sadness you feel is a normal part of the painful losses we experience in life.

Did my sadness leave on that day? Did I walk out of that office on clouds of joy? No. But three other men were now carrying my burden, and I left with a much lighter load. We need to communicate the burdens of our trials. Not just the external challenges of losing a job or enduring an illness, but the inner conflicts as well. We also need to communicate the burdens of our fears, which are often embarrassing but can rule our souls. What a tragedy when the burdens of Christians weigh them down because they neglected to receive help through fellowship!

Share about our spiritual experiences. Since she was in high school my wife Nancy has kept a journal of her times alone seeking God. It’s not unusual for her to read to me from it, and I share the same sorts of things with her. It often just takes five minutes, but it’s rich fellowship just the same.

Confess our sins to one another—before someone comes to confront us. This obvious source of help in conquering sin is often neglected because of our foolish pride. “Therefore confess your sins to one another,” James writes, “and pray for each other so that you may be
healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (Jas 5:16).

Correct one another when we see someone has failed to recognize and take responsibility for his sins. Paul writes that when we see a brother caught in a sin, we should point it out to him to help promote his restoration (Gal 6:1). As uncomfortable as this is, it is fellowship. And
if we are at first unsuccessful in winning the errant brother, Jesus teaches us to widen the circle of fellowship to ensure the correction is accurate and the brother receives every chance to be won (Mt 18:15ff). Correction (see Chapter Five) is one of the more challenging aspects of fellowship because it often entails disagreement and conflict. Moreover, the one bringing correction may end up having his own motives evaluated— and found wanting. Yet without this dynamic of fellowship, we wall up portions of our lives, blocking us from other opportunities for fellowship.

Serve one another in practical ways. Effective serving requires knowing another’s needs. Discovering these needs is often the product of fellowship. Imagine that a couple in your group reveals that they are experiencing unusual conflict due to neglect of their marriage. Fellowship may mean taking their children for a weekend so the parents can get away and work on righting the wrongs of their relationship

We must, however, beware of thinking that the mere act of doing of any of these things will automatically produce fellowship. Remember, these are “means of fellowship.” They simply put you in a place where fellowship becomes possible, not certain. True fellowship is a work of the Spirit by grace. And as with the Tango: it takes two to fellowship, and not everyone wants to dance. Still, failure to practice these means of fellowship denies us the opportunity to draw on fellowship as a means of grace.

Hindrances to Fellowship
In an essay on fellowship J.I. Packer identifies four hindrances to enjoying this particular dynamic of life in the Spirit: self-sufficiency, formality, bitterness, and elitism. Self-sufficiency. This sin announces to God and others that we are adequate in ourselves. It reveals itself in a lack of prayer (demonstrating our delusion that we don’t need God) and a lack of fellowship (demonstrating our delusion that we don’t need each other). For the past 30 years Christians have been fascinated by 1 Corinthians 12 and the other New Testament passages about spiritual gifts. Often, the underlying question has been, “What are my gifts?” If our concern is for serving, this is a good question.

But taking a broader view of the chapter reveals another issue: We need each other, for different people have different gifts. To say that we can become who God wants us to be without benefit of fellowship is as inaccurate as saying that a body can be fully functional without eyes or hands or ears. In our self-sufficiency we tend to ignore fellowship—only to discover our need for it when we hit a crisis. Then we scramble to build relationships just when we have the least time for them, and when people—for good reason, given our history—have concluded we have no interest in fellowship.

Formality. The word can conjure images of debutante balls and trying to remember which fork to use. But here all it means is those rules and standards we unconsciously employ when we’re in social settings. Sometimes these rules are neutral, but sometimes they inhibit fellowship. Consider the unwritten code of some families: “You don’t talk about your ‘private’ life with other people.” You won’t produce much fellowship taking that belief into the church!

We can also fall into formality within our small groups—the very place where fellowship demands spontaneity and openness. In fact, I’ve found the meetings of many small groups to be as predictable as any liturgy (and I say this without any intent to denigrate congregations that employ a liturgy). The leader follows a standard pattern. The same people pray, read Scripture, talk about their problems. Every time.

But fellowship is spiritual—“of the Spirit”—and so should our meetings be. The needs and issues of our lives change, and so should the content and topics of our meetings, for the Spirit is constantly at work in our lives to conform us to Christ’s image in specific ways. We must adapt to his work, and invite others to help us. I’m not advocating there be no plan or format to meetings, but rather, that the plans include opportunities for everyone to share the work of the Spirit in his or her life.

Bitterness. Bitterness in the context of fellowship is simply a sinful reaction to something gone awry in a relationship. Consider these areas:

- Unfulfilled expectations: “I’ve invited him to lunch, and he didn’t accept; I’ve opened my life to him and he didn’t follow up; I thought we would become close friends, but instead he spends all his time with someone else.”

- Offended pride: “Your correction was inaccurate, and I’m insulted that you’d even think I could do such a thing. I’ll never open my life to you again.”

- Jealousy: “Why is he the group leader? Can’t the pastors see that I’m far more talented?”

- Gossip and slander. Telling someone privileged, negative information about another when the recipient is neither part of the problem nor part of the solution—this is gossip. Slander, which is the spreading of false information about someone with an intent to harm him or her, tempts those slandered to grow bitter. Left unconfronted, gossip and slander create mistrust and bitterness, building a wall of hostility fellowship cannot scale. Worse yet, these sins tend to create factions within the group, which only separate believers further from one another.

Elitism. This condescending attitude toward those whom we deem less mature than ourselves quenches fellowship— or turns it into a narrow one-way street. We find elitism in this kind of thinking: “I can help him, but he’s not mature enough to make any contribution to my growth. I only share my life with people mature enough to handle my problems.” Or we can form cliques rooted in the pride of tenure: “I’ve been here a long time and my relationships are established. Those folks would probably be more comfortable with some of the newer members.”

Getting from Here to There
Ask. Once we are committed to the value of fellowship, creating opportunities for it is quite simple. Ask people questions that go beyond the superficial. Get past “How’re ya’ doing?” to “How is God working in your life right now?” “How did that event affect you?” “What do you think you can learn from this?” We seem to find it much harder to ask such questions than to answer them. Most of us desire to share our trials, burdens, successes and interests with others—all we lack is a brother or sister with a willing ear.

Volunteer. Fellowship flows when we volunteer information about our internal state to others not simply to relieve the problem of loneliness, but to gain their honest evaluation of how we are dealing with the issue and how we can change. Correction is rarely given unless we invite it. Recently a friend asked to speak to me privately. He was struggling with temptation toward a besetting sin, and his appeal was memorable: “I appreciate your support when I confess my trial and sinful reaction, but I need more than your understanding and support. I need you to rebuke me in strong terms. Please get my attention by correcting me in strength.” This man enjoys deep fellowship, and his growth in God has been consistent partly because he recognizes his need for help, and he knows the Spirit uses others to provide insight.

Take advantage of ready-made opportunities. I prepare for my small group with two things in mind: first, what issue in my life is God bringing to my attention—a sin or temptation, a trial, an opportunity or decision, confusion over some issue. I come ready and willing to open my life and receive input on this issue. As a practical matter, we can’t always get to everyone, so we may not cover my issue that evening, but I’m ready if we do. (And if we don’t, I look for other opportunities.) Second, I approach the meeting recalling past issues others have brought up so I can express my care and encourage fellowship by following up. My group meets in two settings: as couples (all of us are married), and separately as groups of men and women. We use discernment as to which issues are appropriate for the mixed group and which demand discretion.

Be creative. Other opportunities for fellowship abound. Hospitality is a biblical practice that fosters fellowship. Conversation tends to flow freely during a meal, whether it’s in someone’s kitchen or at a restaurant. Parties can also help create fellowship—if we make room for it.
Go camping together. Room near each other at the church retreat. Any contact between Christians—especially those in your own church, and most especially those in your small groups—should be seen as an opportunity for fellowship.

All in the Family
One of the metaphors by which Scripture describes the church is the family. There is much concern today about the family. Society as a whole has been alarmed to discover that individual families, and even the institution of the family, grow weak if they are not nurtured (the trendy term is “dysfunctional”). With all the discussion of such families, one might conclude they are the only kind left. But that’s far from true. There are lots of healthy, “functional” families. Of these, I’m convinced the best ones are found in biblically based Christian homes that have their roots planted deep in the soil of the local church. The Biblical word for family is usually translated “household,” and when we become Christians, we become members of God’s household, his family. Look at three passages from Paul:

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers (Gal 6:10).

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household (Eph 2:19).

If I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household,
which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth (1Ti 3:15).

Each of us has family responsibilities in the church. Fellowship encompasses a major responsibility to care for another’s soul and to get help for our own so that together we can be all that God intends us to be. A good local church—and a good small group—is like the best of families. Good families take responsibility for each other. Good families are honest with each other. Good families take care of each other. Good families deal with their problems. Good families love each other—no one is lonely. Good families love and respect the head of the household—in our case the one we call Father and Lord. Fellowship makes family life possible in the church.

But fellowship doesn’t happen of itself. We must define it, we must pursue it, and we must love it. If we do, we will prevent someone from turning our spiritual household into a restaurant.

Why Home Groups? by CJ Mahaney

As we recommence Home Groups in SABC next week, I thought I'd draw your attention to some fantastic material that is available to download for free from Sovereign Grace Ministries. http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=B3150-00-60 - This is the introduction to a little bookelt entitled, Why Small Groups?

Why Small Groups? By CJ Mahaney

You see, but you do not observe,” said Sherlock Holmes to his loyal friend, Dr. Watson. “The distinction is clear. For example, you have frequently seen the steps which lead up from the hall to this room.”
“Frequently.”
“How often?”
“Well, some hundreds of times.”
“Then how many are there?”
“How many? I don’t know.”
“Quite so! You have not observed. And yet you have seen. This is just my point. Now, I know that there are seventeen steps, because I have both seen and observed.”

If you have read any of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic detective stories, you know that Sherlock Holmes often rebukes Dr. Watson for his oversight. But Watson was no fool. Like me, and probably you, he simply lacked Holmes’ unusually strong gifts of observation and deduction. He could see the very same situations as Holmes without noticing important details. As Holmes stated, Watson saw…but he did not observe.

Sherlock Holmes cared. Observation was a critical tool of his trade. It’s critical for us as well as we examine the subject of small groups. You see, too many of us view small groups the way Watson viewed the staircase. We see but we don’t observe. We attend a group without understanding its real purpose. We fail to understand why our small group exists. And if we don’t know God’s purpose for small groups, we’re never going to achieve it.

Small Groups Are Elementary My Dear Watson
Since at least the mid-1970s, the church in America has been fascinated with small groups. The majority of churches have at least experimented with small groups, and many still maintain active small-group ministries of various kinds.

However, from my limited perspective, a number of these churches never hammered out a clear purpose and set of biblical goals when beginning their small groups. Some did, and I commend them. It is these churches that no doubt have had the greatest success with their small groups. But others started groups simply because they were popular—the latest church trend. Obviously, that isn’t a sufficient motive. Current trends rarely provide a church with strong foundations. A small-group ministry won’t ultimately be effective unless it exists to achieve biblical purposes.

For lack of a biblical purpose and mandate, many small groups have floundered. Other groups have been seriously handicapped by the lack of good resources available. It is no exaggeration to say that most popular books and guides dealing with the topic of small groups are shockingly deficient in sound doctrine. I don’t say this lightly. I have reviewed them for years, and have found a greater emphasis on modern psychology and sociology than on thorough, biblical theology.

Most of these materials are well-produced. They feature numerous thought provoking questions and illustrations. Undoubtedly the publishers want to help Christians grow. But without solid biblical content, these materials can actually hinder God’s intentions for us as individuals and groups.

Despite these concerns, I see small groups as a priority for every Christian and every church. Why? Because the Scripture constantly underscores the centrality of relationships. J.I. Packer agrees:
We should not think of our fellowship with other
Christians as a spiritual luxury, an optional addition
to the exercises of private devotions. Fellowship
is one of the great words of the New Testament: it
denotes something that is vital to a Christian’s spiritual
health, and central to the Church’s true
life…The church will flourish and Christians will be
strong only when there is fellowship.

Genuine fellowship isn’t practical in a crowd of 200 or 2,000. That’s why I feel so strongly that churches must create small groups where Christians can develop intimate relationships, where they can “know and be known.” A church following a biblical model will not just “have” small groups. It will not merely “offer” small groups. Rather, it will be built with small groups.

As I stated before, though, small groups will only serve the church if they are founded on sound doctrine and sustained by a clear biblical purpose. That brings us to the title of this chapter and this book: Why Small Groups? To answer the question posed by that title, let me present what I consider to be four clear goals from Scripture: progressive sanctification, mutual care, fellowship, and the ministry of the Holy Spirit.

What Sanctification Is – and Is Not!
Theologian Wayne Grudem provides a fine, concise definition of this critical doctrine:
“Sanctification is a progressive work of God and man that makes us more and more free from sin and like Christ in our actual lives.”

That’s the goal of the Christian life, isn’t it? Increasing freedom from sin and increasing resemblance to Jesus. Small groups provide an ideal context for this to occur. Not every small group is intent on this purpose, however.”

Some put a higher priority on socializing than on sanctification. Others excel in open sharing and sympathetic listening, yet they never confront sin or challenge members to change. This is unacceptable. A group with an unbiblical purpose can do more harm than good. Groups that meet without the biblical purpose of pursuing character development have the tendency to reinforce, rather than confront, the sin and selfishness already present in us. None of us needs such reinforcement. Instead, we need to be provoked and challenged by others so we can change for the glory of God.

Let me make one critical insertion here before going any further. I’ve spoken with many Christians who, whether they realize it or not, don’t understand the difference between the doctrine of sanctification and the doctrine of justification. Because this confusion can lead to serious spiritual consequences, let me take a minute to distinguish these critical truths. Please follow closely—the rest of this book (and the rest of your Christian life!) depends on a clear understanding of these two doctrines.

I have given Dr. Grudem’s definition of sanctification above. He defines the doctrine of justification this way: Justification is an instantaneous legal act of God in which he

1) thinks of our sins as forgiven and Christ’s righteousness as belonging to us, and
2) declares us to be righteous in his sight.

Justification refers to a Christian’s position before God. The moment you were born again, God justified you. On the basis of Christ’s finished work, God thought of your sins as forgiven and declared that you were righteous. Sanctification, on the other hand, refers to our practice before God. It is the ongoing process of battling sin and becoming more like Jesus. Though sanctification is the evidence and goal of our justification, we must never see it as the basis of our justification. Here’s where so many Christians get confused. They try to earn what has already been given to them as a free gift. As Martin Luther stated, “The only contribution we make to our justification is our sin which God so graciously forgives.”

There are other vital distinctions. Justification is about being declared righteous; sanctification is about becoming more righteous. Justification is immediate; sanctification is gradual. Justification is complete the moment God declares us righteous. It does not take place by degrees.

Sanctification, however, is a process that lasts as long as we live. Finally, while every Christian enjoys the same degree of justification, we vary in terms of sanctification. You will never be more justified than you are at this moment, because justification is an act of God. But by God’s grace, you will become ever more sanctified as you cooperate with God’s Spirit in the process of change. Though it’s important to distinguish between justification and sanctification, these two doctrines are inseparable. God does not justify someone without sanctifying him as well. Sanctification is not optional. If one has truly been justified, that will be evident by a progressive work of sanctification in his life. Small groups contribute to this magnificent and gradual work of grace in our lives.

Don’t Try This Alone
Although one’s personal responsibility for sanctification remains paramount, sanctification cannot be accomplished in isolation from the local church. Scripture clearly teaches that sanctification is intended to take place in the local church—and small groups contribute invaluably to this process. Consider these insights by theologian Bruce Milne:

The Christian life is inescapably corporate. Teaching
on Christian holiness has frequently concentrated
almost exclusively on the “holy man” or the “holy
woman,” to the neglect of the biblical concern for
“the holy people” or the “holy church.” The ideal of
the “omnicompetent Christian individual,” able to
meet every spiritual challenge and live a life of unbroken
victory over sin and the devil, has undoubtedly
produced remarkable examples of Christian character;
but, as every Christian counsellor knows, this
emphasis has driven many to a lonely struggle ending
in despair and disillusionment, or, worse, in the
hypocrisy of a double-standard life.
This whole approach needs re-examination. The
bulk of New Testament teaching on the Christian
life, including the major sections on holiness, occur
in letters addressed to corporate groups, to churches.
All the major exhortations to holy living are plur a l —
“we,” “you” (Ro 6:1-23; Gal 5:13-6:10; Eph 4:17-
Similarly all the New Testament promises of
victory are corporate (1Co 15:57; 1Jn 5:4; Rev 15:2).
In other words the apostles envisaged the Christian
life and Christian sanctification in the context of a
loving, caring fellowship.”

By the grace of God, I’ve experienced what Milne is describing. Many of the most significant changes in my Christian life have taken place in the fellowship of the local church—specifically, in small groups. On many occasions, members of my small group have lovingly (but firmly) confronted my sin and held me accountable as I pursued change. Of course the Holy Spirit is directly responsible for convicting me of these things, but I can only guess where I would be without such faithful friends. God has used them time after time to address sins in my life that I would never have perceived if I were on my own.

It’s been sobering to observe others who have chosen not to participate in a local church or in small groups. They have demonstrated a distinct lack of growth. What’s worse, they haven’t even been aware of their spiritual condition and stagnation.

Small groups provide the encouragement, correction, and accountability that keep us from drifting. As important as it is to cultivate a personal relationship with God by practicing the spiritual disciplines, we need others to help us in our pursuit of sanctification. If you have a passion for personal change—and every Christian should—then you will be glad when others challenge you to grow. This should not be seen as abnormal, or as the domain of those with an unusual level of maturity. It should be viewed as the normal process that follows new birth, expressed in a desire to conform to the image of Jesus Christ. We should be seriously and unapologetically committed to change.

Who Is Your Nathan?
Cain, when questioned by God about the murder of Abel, tried to deny he was his brother’s keeper (Ge 4:9). But he was. We all are. We have a responsibility to help our brothers and sisters keep the will of God. The common term for this is accountability. It is a specific way in which relationships help us achieve sanctification.

Charles Swindoll has said “Accountability includes opening one’s life to a few carefully selected, trusted, individual confidants who speak the truth—who have the right to examine, to question, to approve, and to give counsel.” Don Cousins has called it “Allowing someone to ask penetrating, sometimes uncomfortable questions in order to challenge you to grow.”

The lives of King David and his son Solomon illustrate the importance of being accountable. When David committed adultery with Bathsheba and killed her husband Uriah, he was c o nfronted— held accountable— by the prophet Nathan (see 2 Samuel 11-12). As a result, he repented of his sin and received God’s forgiveness. What would David have become without Nathan in his life? Solomon, on the other hand, apparently had no one like Nathan to hold him accountable as he began to disobey God’s commands. Eventually he was severely disciplined by God for his sin. What might Solomon have become with someone like Nathan in his life? A more relevant question is, what will you become without a Nathan in your life?

Take it from Solomon: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up” (Ecc 4:9-10). The man speaks from experience. If Solomon—the wisest man (besides our Lord) who ever lived— needed accountability, then each of us does as well. Is there someone who can (and does) question your motives and ask for an explanation of your actions when appropriate? This is what we want to work toward in our small groups. Like Wesley’s Band Societies (see “These Guys Meant Business!” on page 7), we want our small-group meetings to fulfill Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another.”

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall
Relationships are one vital means of sanctification; God’s Word is another. Nothing changes us more effectively than the application of Scripture. I’m aware of this every time I preach. What a sobering responsibility! And yet I’m also aware that my words—no matter how passionately I deliver them or how persuasive they may seem—will often fail to bear fruit. That’s because merely hearing God’s Word is insufficient. It bears fruit only when we apply it. And as we’ll see in a minute, small groups are an ideal context for applying God’s Word.

The Book of James uses a humorous illustration to show the importance of application: Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. (Jas 1:22-24). I don’t know anybody who wakes up in the morning, looks in the mirror, and then leaves the house without making some strategic changes. In fact, most of us spend considerable time in front of the mirror each morning—assessing the damages from the night before and making the necessary repairs. According to an article I once saw in Newsweek, a typical man’s lifetime will include a total of seven years in the bathroom. Much of that time will be spent looking in the mirror as we make increasingly futile attempts at damage control.

Ladies, you should probably add about three years to that amount, rounding it up to an even decade—and even that may be on the low side. Trust me. With all possible respect for my wife and three daughters, I have irrefutable evidence. There was a time in my life, when my daughters were young, that I could initiate spontaneous family activities at any time. Now, we can hardly go out for ice cream without everyone first getting a perm! (I’m glad my girls appreciate my sense of humour. No father could be prouder of their passion for God.)

Wouldn’t you be just a little concerned if you knew someone who got up each day, looked in the mirror, and walked away without making any adjustments? How long would that person be presentable to others? How long would you wait before you offered him a comb? It’s an absurd scenario…or is it? According to James, this is exactly what happens every time we encounter Scripture (the mirror) and then walk away without making any changes. The person who routinely looks in the mirror without making alterations does not understand the purpose of the mirror. Likewise, the person who reads or listens to God’s Word without applying what he has heard obviously doesn’t understand the purpose of Scripture.

Simply reading your Bible and listening to good preaching won’t make you like Jesus. Though each of these disciplines is essential for the Christian life and each is a vital means of grace, neither is sufficient in itself. In fact, biblical knowledge is potentially deceptive if obedience doesn’t take place. The purpose of the mirror is to provoke adjustment. The purpose of Scripture is to provoke obedience and produce definitive change in our lives. Those who merely listen to the word, Sunday after Sunday, but fail to apply the word to their lives, will experience an increasing degree of self-deception rather than progressive sanctification. And yet isn’t it interesting that they deceive only themselves? Everyone else knows full well that they are merely listening and not obeying, not maturing. It’s as obvious to them as it would be if we woke up tomorrow morning, glanced in the mirror, and then walked away without ever touching the comb, the washcloth, or the toothbrush.

So what does this have to do with this book? Small groups are not primarily intended for teaching and preaching; those functions are the responsibility of your pastor. Rather, small groups are designed for application. They create a context where Christians can apply God’s truth in a personal, practical way. In order to apply God’s Word effectively, though, we must first interpret it accurately.

Some groups think “Bible study” means swapping their personal opinions and preferences. That’s bogus. We don’t gather to exchange our opinions; we gather to learn God’s truth. The first step is to understand what the author’s original intent was when he wrote to his original audience. Only then can we begin to apply that truth to our lives, allowing God’s Word to rule over us and change us for the glory of God.

As your small group looks into the mirror of God’s Word, you should be making adjustments. Each year you should be able to look back and identify distinct areas in which you have changed during the previous twelve months. This is the difference small-group participation is to make in our lives. This and no less.

Called to Mutual Care
In the church where I serve, we call our small groups “care groups.” It’s not a unique title, but it expresses a second primary purpose of small groups. Just as the first is to create a context where every member can pursue sanctification, the second is to create a context where every member can give and receive care. This principle comes straight out of Scripture: God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honour to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it. (1Co 12:24-26)

Christians have always been characterized by their sacrificial love for each other. We are commanded to care for each other unselfishly, without favouritism. “Carry each other’s burdens,” Paul writes, “and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ” (Gal 6:2).

In a Sunday-morning meeting, there are obvious limitations on our ability to express this kind of care. If I’m in the middle of a message and notice someone start to cry in the seventh row back, I can’t stop preaching and go minister to that individual. I’d like to, but it wouldn’t serve the entire church. In a small-group context, though, we are not so limited. Here we can both give and receive specific, personal care. No one need be overlooked or neglected.

It is important to point out that mutual care and close relationships are not dependent on the size of a church. Many assume it’s impossible to form close relationships in a large church. They also assume that in a small church, close relationships will develop automatically. Both assumptions are false. Relationships can flourish in a large church…and be absent in a small one.

The ability to forge strong, personal relationships does not depend on a church’s size. Rather, it depends on the doctrinal understanding and practice of the people who make up that church. Relationships will flourish in any church, no matter what size, where they are stressed as a biblical necessity.

First-time visitors at my church are often intimidated by its size. I can understand how they might feel that way. But as I tell them, “The longer you are involved here, the smaller this church becomes.” It’s a fact. A large church does not need to sacrifice quality relationships—but it does need to provide the small groups and service opportunities that make mutual care a reality.

Fellowship Redefined
Why small groups? A third reason is fellowship. Many small groups use this word without understanding what it really means. As a result, they aren’t experiencing one of the most vital things a group has to offer. You’ll look at fellowship in depth in the next chapter, so I’ll try to limit myself to just a few comments on this critical topic.

Fellowship means to participate together, or to communicate things we hold in common. The greatest common denominator between us as Christians is our relationship with God the Father, through God the Son, by God the Holy Spirit. This forms the content of true fellowship. Our relationship with God should be the main topic of communication within our small groups as we participate together to fulfil his purpose in the local church.

There’s a catch, however. The depth of our personal relationship with God determines the degree of fellowship possible with each other. Thus, in order to know true fellowship, one must maintain a passionate relationship with and experience of God. Perhaps that is why biblical fellowship is so rare.

Fellowship is not just another word for social activities. I really enjoy watching the Washington Redskins or Baltimore Orioles with my friends. This can be a healthy part of small-group life…but it isn’t fellowship. And you don’t have fellowship talking about the latest opinion from Rush Limbaugh or Jesse Jackson, either. Social activities can’t be equated or confused with fellowship. They are distinctly different. Nothing compares to the fellowship we enjoy when we worship together, study and apply Scripture together, encourage and correct each other, and communicate to one another our current experience of God. Nothing. Social activities can create a context for fellowship, but they are a place to begin—not a place to remain.

When I spend an extended time with another Christian, my main desire is that we know fellowship. I want to hear of his relationship with God, and how God is revealing himself to him. I want to communicate my current experience of God as well, and impart a fresh passion for God.

Is that your desire?

If someone spent an afternoon with you, would he or she leave with a fresh understanding of and passion for God? If not, you need to change.

With this definition of fellowship in mind, consider your small group. Are
you experiencing fellowship? How much time do you spend in the meetings
talking about your current relationship with God? When you meet together outside the meetings, how often do your conversations revolve around God’s work in your life? If you are relaxing together more than you’re relating together spiritually, you’re not enjoying true biblical fellowship—and you have something to look forward to.

Experiencing and Expressing the Gifts of the Holy Spirit
God has given spiritual gifts to every Christian (1Co 12:1-7). He fully expects us to use them. But in a church of any size at all, it’s simply not feasible for every member to use these gifts on a Sunday morning. They can in a small group, though. In this smaller and more personal context, each one can serve according to the gifting of the Holy Spirit. This is the fourth and final reason why small groups exist.

Some Christians define the Spirit’s work in very narrow terms, causing a good bit of needless controversy. Seminary professor Gordon Fee, who recently completed a major study of Paul’s writings on the Holy Spirit, calls for a different approach. Pay close attention to this quote from his book, God’s Empowering Presence:In Paul, power is not to be thought of merely in terms of the miraculous, the extraordinary…Paul understood the Spirit’s power in the broadest possible way.

I’m all for the miraculous and the extraordinary, but it is easy to get preoccupied with this. Our small groups need to become familiar with the varied and distinct works of the Holy Spirit. Through a combination of doctrinal study, experience, and practice, we should seek to understand the Spirit’s power in “the broadest possible way.”

I recommend beginning with a thorough study of Scripture concerning the person and work of the Holy Spirit. This will include seeking to define, identify, and cultivate the various gifts of the Spirit listed in 1 Corinthians 12:8-10,28; Ephesians 4:11; Romans 1 2 : 6 - 8 ; and 1 Peter 4:11. I would also recommend that you set the same goal for your group that Scripture sets: reaching the point where each member is able to serve others and glorify God with the unique gifting which has been imparted by the Spirit. Everybody should be bringing something to the party!

Let me give a few suggestions from my own experience and study of Scripture. First, in order to experience and express the gifts of the Spirit, we must develop the habit of communing with the Holy Spirit. Paul ends his second letter to the Corinthian church by saying, “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all” (2Co 13:14). Is the fellowship of the Holy Spirit as much a reality for you as the love of the Father and the grace of Christ?

Second, we need to avoid grieving the Holy Spirit. I like what Jerry Bridges says on this topic: It is very instructive that it is in the context of interpersonal relationships that Paul wrote his warning, “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God” (Eph 4:30). Now, all sin grieves God, and Paul could have inserted that warning in the context of sexual immorality (Eph 5:3-5) or lying and stealing (Eph 4:25,28). But he places it in the context of sins we commit with hardly any sense of shame or guilt. The message should be clear. God is grieved over our “refined” sins just as He is grieved over sexual immorality or dishonesty. I am not suggesting that being irritable at one’s spouse is as serious as something like adultery. I am saying that being irritable at one’s spouse is sin, and that all sin grieves God and should grieve us. When we sin, we must respond quickly to the convicting presence of the Spirit; otherwise we will grieve him and break fellowship with him.

Third, we need to avoid quenching the Holy Spirit. In this case, the best defence is a good offence. Are you stirring up the gifts God has placed in you? When he prompts you to use them to serve others, are you obeying right away? If not, you’re quenching the Spirit. Last week’s meeting is history. Tonight’s meeting demands a fresh visitation by the Spirit of God. Apart from his presence, there’s no point in meeting. Each of us has a responsibility to seek the Holy Spirit and be sensitive to what he wants to accomplish in the group as we gather together.

Wayne Grudem writes, We must recognize that these activities of the Holy Spirit are not to be taken for granted, and they do not just happen automatically among God’s people. Rather, the Holy Spirit reflects the pleasure or displeasure of God with the faith and obedience—or unbelief and disobedience—of God’s people…The Holy Spirit gives stronger or weaker evidence of the presence and blessing of God, according to our response to him. What is your response to him on a daily basis? During the small-group meeting? To a degree, that response will determine the forcefulness of his presence in your midst. Let us purpose to avoid grieving or quenching the Spirit so that we can experience the full strength of his presence and pleasure.

Fourth, we should arrive at our small-group meetings expecting the Spirit to be powerfully present. This is essential. What a difference expectation can make as we begin our small-group meetings! It can be the difference between a life-changing encounter with God and a superficial
time together with no immediate or eternal benefit. When each member comes expecting the Holy Spirit to reveal and refresh, together we taste the power of the age to come.

This is why we are committed to small groups. By his grace, together we are being changed into the image of Jesus Christ through progressive sanctification. Together we are experiencing mutual care, genuine fellowship, and the ministry of the Holy Spirit. We no longer just see—we observe. We no longer simply attend—we participate. We no longer selfishly consume—instead we are carrying out God’s purpose for our lives as we contribute to the building of the local church. And you thought it was for the refreshments!

NOTES
1. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, “A Scandal in Bohemia” in The CompleteSherlock Holmes (New York: Doubleday, 1927).
2. J.I. Packer, God’s Words (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1981), p. 193.
3. Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1994), p. 746.
4. Ibid., p. 723.
5. Sinclair Ferguson, The Christian Life: A Doctrinal Introduction (Carlisle, PA: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1989), pp. 82-83.
6. Bruce Milne, Know the Truth (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press,1982), p. 194.
7. R.C. Sproul, The Soul’s Quest for God (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 1992), p. 151.
8. Quoted by Ralph W. Neighbour, Jr., in Where Do We Go from Here? A Guidebook for Cell Group Churches (Houston, TX: Touch Publications, 1990), pp. 166-67.
9. Newsweek, March 26, 1990. 10.Peter H. Davids, New International Bible Commentary: James (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 1989), p. 41.
11.Gordon Fee, God’s Empowering Presence (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, Inc., 1994), p. 8.
12.Richard F. Lovelace, Dynamics of Spiritual Life (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1979), p. 131.
13.Jerry Bridges, The Discipline of Grace (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 1994), p. 35.
14.Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology, p. 635.
15.J. Rodman Williams, Renewal Theology: Salvation, the Holy Spirit, and Christian Living (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1990), p. 305.

Spurgeon Gold...

Charles Haddon Spurgeon is a hero of mine. People at SABC laugh at the fact that a Garvie family holiday consists of me, Kathryn and Spurgeon flying off to a beach somewhere - Spurgeon's presence is embodied in the four or five CHS books that take me very close to my baggage weight limit. His material is simply gold and I encourage all to let Spurgeon do what he does best... point people to Jesus. Here are a couple of nuggets...

Spurgeon once wrote of the great Puritan, John Bunyan, something that is absolutely true of himself... 'Prick him anywhere and you will find his blood is Bibline, the very essence of the Bible flows from him. He cannot speak without quoting a text, for his soul is full of the Word of God.' What an example to every believer but especially those pursuing a call to ministry.

On another occasion CHS spoke of his unquenchable desire to love and live for Jesus saying,

"I feel that if I could live a thousand lives, I would like to live them all for Christ, and i should even then feel that they were all too little return for His great love to me."